American Idol skit, act 1

Hey, so with using my ipod and being very tired yesterday, I didn't post these imporant announcements. I'm in a skit on wednesday, and here it is:
Simon (me): Welcome back viewers to another horrible season of american idol, where people just like you can become famous, but lose all their money to me in their contract. This is my assistant Puala Abdull, and the.... guest on the show who's only on it for publicity Lady DoDo. They will be helping me judge this carnival show. Why don't we go ahead and get started. Will contestant 199 come on out?

Singer walk out

singer1: Well Simon, we have something great, and we know you'll love it. (starts singing You Don't Know Your Beautiful, terribly, only singing a few words, not remembering the rest) So, guys what'd ya think?

Paula: Oh my goodness! That was the most precious thing that I have heard in my entire life. If I could run backwords very fast, I would go back in time and watch it all over again. I give you a 10!!!

(lady Dodo says some comment that just confuses everybody)

Simon: I think I can only express what that song meant to me in three little words. DIS GUS TING! That was the worst thing I've ever heard! You caouldn't even sing it by yourself, you needed theme music and besides it was a horrible song. I give you a zero, because that is what you are. A ZERO!!!

(singer runs off stage crying)

Simon: Well, that was horrible. Can we get contestants 7 and 8 to come in?  

(one contestant comes in, half dressed up as a guy, half as a girl) Actress: Well, Simon, we don't have a song, but we have a breif scene, will that work?

Simon: We? where's the other contestant? (looks around)

Paula: That'll work. Please continue.

Actress: Romeo, oh Romeo, where art thou, Romeo? (turns around, facing where she just was) Hey Juliet, I is art over hither! (turns again, into her last place) Romeo, I don't know what we shall do if our families keep fighting. (turns yet again into the second place) I know, Juliet. We shall go-eth into a dark tomb-eth and kill ourselves for attention. Ha ha. Yes Juliet and I will use this rusty sword to stab myself in the liver to die a long, horrible death (turns into the first place)  Yes Romeo, and I will drink this bottle of Mountain Dew to put me on a mad sugar rush, that will later drive me insane! Hehe! (turns into the second place) To love! (turns again, into the first position) To love! And scene.

Lady Dodo: don't drink mountain dew before a show, I learned that the hard way

Paula: Oh my goodness! That was amazing! I didn't think you were going to pull it off, but at the end wow. You really made me weep. It was beautiful. I don't think I will ever wash these eyeballs again. I give you both tens!

Simon: That was the worst performance I have ever seen. If it had gone on any longer, I think I would've ripped MY eyeballs from my skull and dump them in acid. You were horrible. If you don't leave now, I will have you BOTH put to death for that hideous performance.

(Actress run off  crying)

That's all I have time for today, I will try to post the rest tommarrow,  I also have an airband competition enxt week, and Jessie, July, would you be my airband? Please? I will put up a poll for the songs, look them up online, sorry I'm to busy to post them. And suggest songs, but they must be clean, no profound language, or suggestive themes.
Cruel and Mean
Simon
Fine, Raven DeWitt