top 5 ways to a girls heart (mentally. Physically- rib cage.)

Since valentines day is coming up, and 90% of people are all like "ugh," or "single awareness day!" I'm gonna let you in on a little secret; how to get the girl. Well, not normal girls, but girls more like me. So, if your crush is an exact carbon copy of me *snort* or you actually like me *laughs self to death* or you wanna waste a few minutes of your time, here's the top five ways to a girls heart (*warning* the girl has to be a heck of a lot like me to work!)

1- give her a library

C'mon, the beast did it and he got Belle. Also, I want a library dang it!

2- chocolate

Its a must. You can also tell if you're about to date a crazy psychopath by giving it to them; if they say they don't like chocolate, they're a crazy psychopath. You're welcome!

3- be funny.

Who doesn't love funny guys?

4- read.

I have no idea why reading is so amazingly hot, but boys, it is. Actually, just be a nerd in general; despite popular belief, being a nerd is HOT. Told you this list only applies to me and girls who're exactly like me....

5- be interested in her

Not what she looks like, what she says. Or at the very least pretend to. Pretend to the point of being able to have a conversation. Or just do 1-4 on the list and ignore this one. But if you can't do #1, this one is required.

So, hopefully the girl you like is me *my ghost laughing itself to death* so this list works. If not.... Try your hardest? Maybe? Ish? I'm sure someday someone might kinda love you. Ish.

Nerdy love

Super-chu

DeWitt

Raven

INVERTED PYRAMID!!!